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“You didn’t sound Black over the phone.” He was bold in his assumption, but I wasn’t surprised. I’d experienced similar reactions before. I was slightly amused by his bewilderment. He looked let down, like a man set up on a blind date with an awful girl.
As familiar as his reaction was, I was not sure of how to respond. True, our communication to that point had been by means of phone. He’d undoubtedly made presumptions, which were proving to be untrue.
He loosely motioned toward a chair. Jag satt ner. He began a soft interrogation.
“Var kommer du ifrån? Vart gick du i skolan?” then he blurted out his real dilemma: Why do you sound white?
I should’ve been angry as he went on to describe he didn’t detect any of the colloquialisms he found common in Black people’s speech in our phone conversations. I wasn’t angry because it wasn’t my struggle. Jag vet vem jag är.
What he indicated was, “You’re not who you’re meant to be.” but I was exactly who I was meant to be. He couldn’t fit me within the boundaries of his narrow assumptions. My black skin coupled with my “white” voice hijacked his preconceived conclusion. I wasn’t what he’d expected.
Have you ever made an assumption about someone based on the color of their skin or culture and your assumption [turned out to be] false?
Jag har. We’re human. lots of of us make assumptions based on race. Thankfully, I don’t have to respond according to what other people assume about me. I don’t find my worth in how other people see me or expect me to act based on my skin color.
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Sadly, we live in a world where some people don’t get past the color of my skin to find out who I really am. I can’t be summed up based on skin color alone. I’m not that simple. I’ve been molded by experiences, thoughts, and beliefs, which have shaped how I choose to interpret life.
He wanted to place me in a box. When we place people in boxes we miss out. We don’t experience the fullness of who they are because we’re closed off to seeing anything outside our assumptions. drawing conclusions about people based on race or ethnicity is a form of racism. An ugly, inflammatory word that’s associated with hatred. no one wants to be called a racist. and I don’t believe a lot of people are racist.
But racism covers a broad spectrum. We’ve narrowed it to the extreme. You don’t have to be a card-carrying member of the KKK or drive a car into a crowd of protestors to be guilty of thinking prejudicial thoughts, i.e. assumptions.
We can’t step get to the root of racism without challenging our assumptions.
Look at other people the way you want them to look at you. Ask the hard questions, even if you think it makes you look like a racist. Can it be any a lot more prejudicial than asking me if:
all five of my children biologically belong to my husband and me?
I’ve tried one of the Black churches across town?
“colored” babies look white when they’re born?
Or admitting:
you couldn’t tell I was Black over the phone.
you grew up in the ghetto just like I did.
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Or telling me:
you often forget I’m Black.
I’m not like other Black people.
my house looks just like a white person’s on the inside.
you’re not racist because one of your best friends in high school was Black.
Or assuming:
my kid qualifies for a need-based scholarship before collecting any financial information.
Does making one of these assumptions or asking one of these questions make you a racist? My hunch is, no, it doesn’t. I shouldn’t anymore assume someone is racist on the basis of a question combined with their skin color than others must assume how I must speak, worship, or decorate my house on the basis of my skin color.
My skin–like how I talk, where I go to church, and how I raise my kids–is just one aspect of who I am. It doesn’t figure out my values or perspective. It doesn’t define me. Jag gör. My being is rooted in something much deeper than the tint of my skin.
Asking questions and seeking answers do not make you a racist. What I hope is it makes us less likely to generalize and assume.
Racism isn’t special to black and white. It’s been around considering that the beginning of time and is present in all cultures. When we minimize people to nOm det är mycket mer än hudfärg, är det till nackdel. Vi missar. Vi tillåter oss inte att uppskatta den rikedom som går utöver huden. Jag är fortfarande road när jag träffar någon, och jag kan känna att de försöker hitta en plats för mig inom gränserna för deras antaganden.
Men jag ler fortfarande och hoppas att vårt möte kommer att tvinga dem att utmana deras antaganden och se bortom huden och kanske upptäcka något mer.
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Vilka av dina förutfattade uppfattningar om någon baserad på hudfärg eller kultur har motbevisats?
Sheila Qualls är en tidigare civil journalist och redaktör för den amerikanska arméns prisbelönta tidning, Cannoneer. Sheila är nu en hemma mamma, talare och författare. Sheila skriver från erfarenheten av 30 års äktenskap, fem barn, hemundervisning, 10 företags drag, två hundar och en iller. (Må de vila i fred.) Hon inspirerar kvinnor genom att ge dem en syn på sin värld genom ett fönster av humor och transparens, ett besvärligt ögonblick åt gången. Hon hjälper kvinnor att navigera i livets känslomässiga vändningar så att de kan vara den autentiska kvinnor som Gud kallade dem att vara. Du kan följa henne på Facebook eller på hennes blogg på http://www.sheilaqualls.com.
Länk till detta inlägg: oavsiktlig rasism: Hur man utmanar dina antaganden och avslöjar rasismens rot
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